Zen and Anger

It’s so easy to indulge in anger, isn’t it? It’s that one emotion that has the power to overtake you, without you even realizing it sometimes.

It’s like something or someone really caused you to blow a head gasket, before you know it you are really scorched, you could use that vein in your neck to tow a car, and now it’s going to take a considerable amount of time to cool down.

The problem is the psychological and physiological damage is already done.

Just because something or someone really angers you doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person. It’s actually how you deal with your anger that determines whether or not you are a good or a bad person.

Everyone from time to time gets really fried about something or someone, and basically when this happens, the important issue at hand is how you direct your anger.

Anger is a most unpleasant emotion, and yet, oddly enough, it is completely normal. It seems like at any given moment something can happen that really makes you angry, and that’s okay, you’re just living in the moment.

At this point, anger is not really all that harmful. The best thing to do, although I must admit, is not the easiest, is to let the anger flow through you and away from you. That is the balance in anger.

I will admit that when anger happens without warning, my attitude of Zen goes right out the window. It is when your anger advances to the next level that your physical and mental abilities are negatively affected, as well as your relationship with others.

You must realized that anger is a self-defeating emotion and there is absolutely no benefit for you psychologically and physiologically. In fact, it will hurt you or worse.

There is no mistake in experiencing anger. The body gets a sudden jolt of adrenaline, the heart rate quickens, jaws are clenched, and muscles become tense and tight. At this point, the anger must be released; the longer it is held onto, the more harm it will cause.

The problem is most people don’t let go of their anger and don’t realize that letting go is much healthier. By holding onto anger, there becomes an increased risk of high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart disease.

It is absolutely critical that you control your anger. After all, you are the only one who can, and if you do not control your anger, it will control you.

Most of the time you know what causes you to become angry and the fact that you know this means that you have the ability to control it.

When a situation has the potential to make you angry, try to think before you act and most of the time this will allowyou to down play it and view it as a mild aggravation.

There is one thing that really makes me angry without warning and it’s the idiot who runs a red light just when I start and then have to jump on the brakes.

There are other annoyances usually involving people and traffic situations and really, when you think about it most people are creatures of habit.

The jackass who ran the red light probably runs red lights a lot; although that is an extremely stupid and dangerous habit. I must admit, when that happens, I visualize myself yanking him out of the car and giving him a swift kick.

Learning, practicing, and becoming Zen is an excellent way to help you manage your anger.

Zen can empower you to control your anger, and it’s absolutely vital that you do so especially if you are easily angered, because you don’t want your anger to control you.

Breathing and relaxation techniques can effectively help you reduce your tendency to become angry. It’s critical that you identify the reason that causes your anger. Your anger is most likely caused by a psychological or physical pain and once you own it and use Zen techniques you will be able to manage it before you have a meltdown.

The Zen techniques of meditation, deep breathing, and relaxation can definitely help you become less angry and more peaceful. It will also help you think and rationalize before acting or reacting to a situation that causes you to become angry.

These techniques can also help you take an otherwise negative volatile situation and turn into a positive experience. You’ll also be less likely to jump to conclusions and impulsively react to an angry situation in a negative way.

Zen techniques can help you take control of your life experiences, calm your mind, help you think clearly, and any one, regardless of age, can learn to have positive more enjoyable experiences.

The balance and Zen approach to anger would be to forgive and let it go.

When I experience anger I do my best to let it flow through me and let it go. It was difficult at first but the more I practice it the easier it is to do, and my body, mind, and spirit are much healthier because of it.

The balancing act of anger can be fragile and delicate, but it is achievable. There are a couple of things that can help in getting to that state of mind of letting it go. They is meditation, and if the anger still persists, use a punching bag; it is an excellent release mechanism for the sensitive emotion of anger.

 

 

 Zen and Fear

Fear is a powerful ally or enemy; depending on how you react to it. When faced with fear or a potentially dangerous situation, you can do one of two things; you can run away, or you can stand and face it, and either one is acceptable. This is also called the flight or fight response.

The action you choose is measured by your chance of survival in the face of fear or danger. When you experience fear, your primary concern at that point is safety.

It is important to realize how powerful fear can be. However, it is more important to realize that this power comes from you.

You can actually give fear the ability to overpower and keep you from doing normal things. In fact, if you give it enough power, it can completely immobilize you.

Fear can be powerful enough to affect your decision making skills and your common sense approach to life. When you are faced with fear, your mind and body should work together for self-preservation.

It is logical to assume there is no way to bring a balance to fear. It only appears that way on the surface. The true balance to fear is assessing the severity of the threat and determining what action to take; to run or stand.

The best way to bring a sense of balance to fear is to be aware of what is going on around you and to remain calm in the face of danger.

This is not as easy to do, as it once was, with most everyone walking around with their electronic devices and completely aware of what is going on around them.

Do not confuse running for safety as being a chaotic response when faced with fear. It takes a calm and rational mind to make that decision when bodily harm is close at hand.

A chaotic response in a potentially dangerous situation would be to freeze and not be able to protect yourself, and this happens to some people because they don’t know what to do, and they can’t seem to help it.

 

Past Experiences and Regrets

The word regret all by itself is a negative word and you cannot feel happy when you think about past regrets because it’s just human nature. We all have past experiences that are in some way negative and there are times when you just can’t help thinking about them.

I know it’s difficult but it is essential that you learn to let it go. That experience happened only once, well hopefully, but when that negative past experience or regret starts to creep back into your mind you are basically experiencing it over and over again, and there is absolutely no benefit to you in doing so.

When you relive those negative experiences and regrets over and over again, your mind and body actually feel the stress of when it first happened.

This is unjustified stress and feelings you don’t need and it’s taking up your time in an unproductive way, time that you could use to experience more fulfilling and happier feelings that allow you to become Zen.

When you are meditating, those negativities may try to creep back into your thought processes, don’t let them rattle you, acknowledge them briefly, and then use your trigger phrase or words to oust them from your thoughts.

Here are a few techniques that may help you dismiss those negative past experiences from your thoughts.

First of all focus on your breathing when meditating and realize those experiences are coming from your past.

Consider those past negative experiences and regrets a part of life’s lesson and you’ve learned from them and you won’t let them happen again.

If an experience has caused you harm or cost in some way, try forgiving, not only to the one who has caused you harm, but also forgive yourself.

Forgiveness is very powerful and an excellent technique for letting go.

You may consider that all experiences in your life, negative and positive, are attracted by you, your attitudes, emotions, and how you think. By realizing this and owning it you can change your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, and habits allowing you to become a true master of yourself instead of a victim of your past, and you will truly become Zen.

 

 Zen and Failure

Some people have the wrong attitude or belief about failure to the point where they give up and won’t try again. Some people actually have a fear of failure so much so that they will not attempt to succeed at something in which they may fail.

 Failure should be looked upon as a learning experience.

My personal philosophy is if I fail at something, I don’t take it personal, or think that I can’t overcome it. The only way failure wins is if I allow it by thinking I cannot get past a weakness.

A failure is basically an unknown factor. Once you learn how to beat failure, you begin to realize that you can accomplish more and it will do wonders for your personal positive outlook.

Even if it’s something that you don’t think you can physically do, that’s okay. It is important to realize that you, like everyone else, has physical limitations.

It is certainly not worth stressing about it. It is better to just acknowledge it and find another way to accomplish it by having someone else do it who can.

It certainly does not mean you should feel like a failure at it, after all, you can’t do everything. Everyone fails at something in their life sometime or how could it be known as a failure?

Think about failure in this way. If you learn from a so called failure, then did you really fail?

When it comes to failures always keep in mind the difference between a wise man and a fool. A fool will make the same mistake or failure time and again and expect a different outcome. A wise man will make a mistake or failure only once and learn from it.

 

Zen and Limiting Beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs come from negative experiences arising from financial problems, family conflicts, career uncertainties, social life adjustments, or family dynamics.

A self limiting belief happens because of a small incident that may have happened long ago and has long since been forgotten, but it still lingers in the subconscious mind. It continues to influence certain actions and becomes part of a person’s character without realizing it.

Just as positive attributes come from the past, so do limiting beliefs. Improving on those positive traits will help you become a happier person and increase your Zen awareness.

Realize that self-limiting beliefs come from your past, and that is the key, your past, not your future. You cannot change your past but you can change your future and it all starts in the here and now.

It is possible that you may be unaware of a limiting belief and trying to identify one can be difficult.

There is an excellent way to get a good idea of what it might be. Actually, it is not only a good way to identify a limiting belief, but by changing that belief it can also be eliminated.

Pay attention to your mind self-talk, those little conversations you have with yourself inside your head. I do not know why, other than it’s human nature, but for most people those conversations are almost always negative.

So the first rule to eliminating any self-limiting beliefs is to pay close attention to any negative self-talk or mind-talk. That’s also the first step in creating a balance on self-limiting beliefs.

The second rule is when something does not work out quite the way you wanted it to,  try to keep your self-talk positive, no more self put downs, and then let go of the negativity and the experience. There is absolutely no benefit in engaging in this type of mind chatter. It negatively affects your degree of happiness and Zen.

The third rule is to regularly engage in relaxation and stress reduction techniques. Activity is your friend. Personally, I do Qi Gong meditation (pronounced Chee Gong,) ancient Chinese deep breathing techniques, and martial arts.

 

 Zen and Stress

There are some things in your life that cause great stress and it is essential that you learn to give it balance. By focusing on the good stress, less attention is given to the bad stress.

Good stress is a pressure you create, for example, to complete a project or accomplish a goal that brings you a benefit or a reward.

It is good stress because you initiated it and after the completion or accomplishment, the stress no longer exists, leaving you with a feeling of satisfaction.

Your awareness and how you balance the different stresses in your life is really the key to successful stress management.

It is important in stress reduction to keep everything in your life in proper perspective. This means minimizing problems and maximizing accomplishments and this will bring you a balance and a feeling of Zen to your world of stress.

When you do this you feel free. Free of an unconscious thought of the problem being bigger than it really is.

 If the challenges, problems, and setbacks seem to be smaller to begin with, it is easier to keep them small and in proper perspective.

There are many stress factors and there are other ways to reduce or relieve stress in your life. There have been numerous studies in recent years regarding meditation and the effects it has on stress reduction.

The American Heart Association published a report finding that meditation can significantly reduce the risk of heart disease. The most recent study conducted by the American Heart Association showed that consistently practicing meditation improves heart and artery health by 69 percent.

Regular meditation reduces pain, high blood pressure, and anxiety.

Another study conducted by the University of Wisconsin discovered that meditation boosts the immune system and brain function.

There are numerous studies and more being conducted all the time that support the outstanding health benefits of meditation. Harvard University conducted a study concluding that regular meditation can reduce pain, lower blood pressure, and lower the production of cortisol.

Cortisol is a bodily hormone produced by the adrenal glands. It plays a significant role in proper glucose metabolism, the regulation of blood pressure, immune function, and insulin release for blood sugar maintenance.

At first I thought wow, the body really needs a lot of it to maintain all that it does, and it is truly an important hormone.

Cortisol has been termed the ‘stress hormone’ because it is secreted into the blood stream at high levels during the body’s fight or flight response to stress and is responsible for stress-related changes in the body.

An increase of cortisol has some positive effects, such as a short burst of energy that helps with survival instincts. A small increase can help improve memory function, increase immunity, reduce pain sensitivity, and help maintain homeostasis in the body.

Even though cortisol is a vital and necessary component of the body’s response to stress; it is also important that we practice relaxation techniques and exercises so that the body’s cortisol function returns to normal.

The problem is most of us live and work in a high stress environment causing the body’s stress response to be activated so frequently that it does not have a chance to return to normal and the result is chronic stress.

The longer this increased amount of cortisol remains in the bloodstream, the more likely it will produce negative effects such as suppressed thyroid function, decreased bone density, blood sugar imbalance, a decrease in muscle tissue, high blood pressure, and impaired cognitive performance.

There are other health concerns created by the prolonged increase of cortisol, such as lower immunity, and inflammatory responses in the body, and increased abdominal fat which is actually a more significant health problem than fat deposited in other places of the body.

This increase in abdominal fat is associated with other health issues such as heart attacks and strokes. The best way to combat these health problems and keep your body’s cortisol under control, and at a healthy level, is to indulge in relaxation techniques as soon as possible after you experience increased levels of stress, or after what is called the fight or flight response.

It is important to understand the underlying cause of most stress is brought on by your own mind. Fear, anger, and negativity are self-generated and unwarranted beliefs created by the human mind.

Another negative stress is pain. Everyone knows that pain does not have to be life-threatening to cause great discomfort. The mind is incredibly powerful and I believe the more you focus on aches and pains, the more stress it will cause and guess what? The more aches and pains you will have.

So the best way to reduce stress in this area is to consciously try and not focus on it. It isn’t easy to do and it does take concerted effort.

Try not to worry about problems that do not exist. Try not to live in a ‘what if’ world. So many people get caught up in thinking something bad is going to happen and then when the outcome is good we realize that stress and worry was unnecessary.

There is an interesting psychological perspective at work here as well. I have heard people talk about a situation where a specific outcome or result is expected and for some strange reason, probably human conditioning, it is believed that it will not go well and the outcome will be viewed in a negative way.

I think it’s natural for those who live in a ‘what if’ world to view a concern in a negative way. In other words, people are likely to say “what if this goes bad or that goes bad or what if it goes all wrong.”

I have often wondered why we think that way, I know I have done it myself. Maybe what we should do is put a more positive spin on the outcome. This concept may be a bit difficult to grasp because we are conditioned to think negatively, but ask these questions. What if it doesn’t go badly? What if it doesn’t go wrong? What if it all goes well?

When I was younger I would become upset when someone would say something bad about me. Not so much anymore. In fact, the older I get the less I could care because I realized that people are going to say positively or negatively whatever they want. Actually this is a Zen approach to what other may negatively think or say.

Do not allow the negative things others might say bother you. Whether they are true or not, do not react to them.

The more you try to defend yourself regarding what someone may have said about you, the more you run the risk of validating those accusations, true or false.

What you are really doing is attracting more attention and that can really make things worse than if you would have just ignored it. Try to ignore the negativity and look beyond it.

If someone were to think badly of you, you could try to change their view. However, sometimes it would be better to spend what limited time you have with people that love you and that you care about, instead of spending your time trying to appeal to someone else for whatever reason.

Better still, let your family and friends, those who know you best, defend you. That gives you more credibility and you won’t waste energy trying to defend yourself against unwarranted and defaming remarks.

I have realized long ago that negativity is a part of life and focusing on the positive aspects of life creates a balance. I have also realized that perfection in this world is an illusion and you can reduce any stress dramatically by accepting the Zen philosophy and the natural law that there is no such thing as the perfect child, parent, spouse, job, or home, just to name a few. By doing so, you will find yourself feeling tranquil, happier, and you will have more peace in my life.